Dear minions,
If you want to conquer the world, you need to be innovative, creative and unique.
… you need to stand out from the crowd.
Nobody cares if you’re the seventh person to step onto the moon – Sorry David Scott, but folks only remember Neil Armstrong!
Be original.
Cat Shark Roomba Duck
Unless you’re some sort of dusty doorknob with limited cognitive abilities, you’ve probably already seen a video of a cat riding a roomba…
I bet you’ve even seen a cat dressed as a shark, I mean seriously, who hasn’t…
Some of you weirdos have probably even seen a shark chasing a duck, or a duck sitting on a shark, or a shark and duck having some sort of picnic.
… whatever.
It’s all been done. It’s all old news. It’s nothing exciting. Until…
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A CAT DRESSED AS A SHARK RIDING ON A ROOMBA CHASING A DUCK?!?!
Wow! What a plot twist!
If you want to conquer the world, you should always have a plot twist waiting to jump out from somewhere unexpected.
… don’t leave your plot twist right around the corner, that’s the first place people look.
BAM!
That’s how you do it.
What’s up your Sleeve?
Hey man, are you sad nobody noticed you exist?
… Don’t worry, it’s because you’re boring.
It’s because there’s nothing up your sleeve to keep people wondering about.
… but boring is an easy problem to fix.
All you have to do is learn how to use that lump of meat inside your head.
With a little effort, you can be innovative, creative, and unique. That’s not boring, that’s interesting!
And really, the secret is very simple…
What’s the Secret?
All you need to do is conquer your greatest fear… face the scary fact… in order to achieve success… at some point… no matter how long you drag your feet… no matter how much you try to avoid it… no matter how many times you beat-around-the-bush… eventually… one day… you’ll have to do some WORK.
… I know, it’s a cruel world, right?
I mean, what kind of twisted universe makes you have to do all sorts of boring work in order to not be boring and make all sorts of filthy dirty money?
… but that’s the secret.
If you work really hard and stand out from the crowd, you’re going to be successful.
Listen, I didn’t become the worlds leading-expert on World Domination over night…
It took lots of work.
It took lots of time.
… but now, I always have the last laugh.
mwahaha!
